Part 1: 'I wish I was better - Again'

Boat at 14.35

Woke up laboring. The notion of returning 'home' after a long day of travel didn't feel like motivation enough to crawl out of bed after the night before. There was little he had in common with his immediate family.

Upon leaving his accommodation, the familiar feeling of being completely  unprepared for the actions ahead came. To the cash machine - into a shop - spend sixty pence to break ten pounds - board the bus to the train station.

The book he grabbed on the way out by Naomi Klein, makes him wish he hadn't bought that can of coke to break a note earlier, he wasn't really in the mood for that kind of literature at the moment, he had enough to deal with without being reminded of the moral values he feels he should abide by.

Drinks half a can, then starts to fantasize about offering the remaining half can to the girl sat adjacent to him, explaining about the book situation and not agreeing with all brand marketing and rhetorical life choice jargon. It might also be worth mentioning that he pours drink into his mouth rather than putting the can right up to and touching his mouth - so she wasn't worried about the potential backwash left in the drink. Hindsight came all too quick, as it usually does when he's alone and speculative, realising the conversation he may have just initiated could have insulted her, by his calculation - in 5 different ways. He downs the rest of the can and thumbs an empty sandwich packet into it. He wouldn't even be thinking about approaching her if recent advice wasn't about 'getting out and meeting people' - he wasn't even interested, not really, just responding. The fear of getting bored of someone in a unfamiliar environment was too much to deal with on-top of thinking about what to discuss when he arrived home later.

Hands clamped tight around a hot paper cup, book spread open on the table, head arched over to the right. He reads on, thinking intermittently about the weather, 'the winds not strong so the crossing should be calm'. There's a Starbucks on the ferry now, even on the ferry - brands infect everything. Enjoying the smell, he wonders whether they've got a Starbucks at home and pulls up to shore at 6pm.